It is sometimes said that wisdom comes with old age. Well, it comes from the young too and the Scriptures speak to that and I am glad they do. “Out of the mouth of babes, comes wisdom.” (Ps 8.2) And “Wisdom gave speech to the tongues of babes.” (Wis 10.21)
Two things I will say about wisdom and old age is this. First, experience can—no guarantee—bring some wisdom. Experience of failure and experience of achievement. This is one sad element of a certain presidential candidate who seems so utterly ill at ease at losing. There is much to learn from losing and learning to be a good loser as well as a good winner is a virtue.
Losing means getting up and trying some again, trying harder, evaluating, learning therefore. But is there a worse loser on the planet than Mr. Trump? What he did on January 6—and planned for weeks in advance as we now know—is an ultimate sign of a bad loser. His conspiring to take down the government that he was trying to head is hard to fathom. No other president has attempted such a thing in 248 years of the American republic. Even harder to fathom is that 47% of the American population seem quite okay with such behavior.

Why is Trump such a bad loser? Did he ever play sports? Sports can teach one how to lose with some grace and yet return to win another day.
As I reflect on the passing of my two older brothers, one important element of our relationship as kids was sports and they were especially generous in inviting me to play with them and their buddies even though I was 2-3 years younger and a lot smaller as a child.
But I loved playing with them and occasionally received congratulations if I caught a pass or outran an opponent, etc. I also learned to lose.
Another element of old age is this: People you love die. Not only parents and siblings, but friends. Again, loss is part of life. Letting go is a big part of life. In fact, Meister Eckhart says, “we sink eternally from letting go to letting go into the One.” It never stops, this letting go. It’s an eternal thing.
I’m not sure it ever gets easier, but it does get familiar and one can develop habits of letting go. I sometimes talk of building muscles of letting go—such muscles need flexing and developing as any other muscles do.
The wisdom involved in death of loved ones has something to do with sizing up one’s own life and learning and re-learning that life is a one-time thing, a gift not to be squelched or underestimated or taken for granted. Give it all you’ve got.
If older ones can teach that to younger ones, then wisdom is passing from generation to generation and that is a good thing.
Let wisdom roll, from young to old and from old to young. Let there be intergenerational wisdom. Let each generation inspire the other.
See Matthew Fox, “Honoring the Child within—Youth and the Cosmic Christ,” in Fox, The Coming of the Cosmic Christ, pp. 180-198.
See also Fox, The A.W.E. Project: Reinventing Education, Reinventing the Human.
Banner Image: Matthew Fox’s brothers Nat and Tom with their wives Lily and Anna. From Matthew Fox’s photo collection.
Queries for Contemplation
What have you learned about the wisdom found either in 1) growing old or 2) being young? How can older and younger generations inspire one another?
Recommended Reading

The Coming of the Cosmic Christ: The Healing of Mother Earth and the Birth of a Global Renaissance
In what may be considered the most comprehensive outline of the Christian paradigm shift of our Age, Matthew Fox eloquently foreshadows the manner in which the spirit of Christ resurrects in terms of the return to an earth-based mysticism, the expression of creativity, mystical sexuality, the respect due the young, the rebirth of effective forms of worship—all of these mirroring the ongoing blessings of Mother Earth and the recovery of Eros, the feminine aspect of the Divine.
“The eighth wonder of the world…convincing proof that our Western religious tradition does indeed have the depth of imagination to reinvent its faith.” — Brian Swimme, author of The Universe Story and Journey of the Universe.
“This book is a classic.” Thomas Berry, author of The Great Work and The Dream of the Earth.

The A.W.E. Project: Reinventing Education, Reinventing the Human
The A.W.E. Project reminds us that awe is the appropriate response to the unfathomable wonder that is creation… A.W.E. is also the acronym for Fox’s proposed style of learning – an approach to balance the three R’s. This approach to learning, eldering, and mentoring is intelligent enough to honor the teachings of the Ancestors, to nurture Wisdom in addition to imparting knowledge, and to Educate through Fox’s 10 C’s. The 10 C’s are the core of the A.W.E. philosophy and process of education, and include: compassion, contemplation, and creativity. The A.W.E. Project does for the vast subject of “learning” what Fox’s Reinvention of Work did for vocation and Original Blessing did for theology. Included in the book is a dvd of the 10 C’s put to 10 video raps created and performed by Professor Pitt.
“An awe-based vision of educational renewal.” — Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, Spirituality and Practice.
8 thoughts on “Two Lessons Learned on Wisdom & Growing Older”
Sometimes I need my younger self to teach me to bring forward the Wisdom pushed back in my consciousness, that occurred as I became increasingly ‘conformed to the world’ — BB.
I’ve very much appreciated being taken deeper into Matthew’s personal family in recent days. Clearly he came from a remarkable family and credit must go, at least it part – if not a large part – to his parents. I am still relatively young by comparison; I will turn 66 in a few weeks, but almost three years ago I lost my one and only brother without warning. It was a tragic blow for all of us, and especially for our parents. In fact the blow of returning to my brother’s grave on the anniversary of his death was the death knoll for my father who died shortly thereafter.
I have learned that deep sadness born out of love can have an awakening effect. There is an intuitive knowledge that all must die and that, in truth, nothing is ever owned or possessed. We are all part of a Divine Mystery to which we must utterly surrender; and in that knowledge, if we can, throw our head back and laugh like the Buddha. In the same vein I have also learned that all our ends are temporary, especially bad ones; and that in the Grand Scheme, all is well – Eternally well!
I must share this with all the youngsters in my life
As I read your Daily Meditation this morning where you spoke of the recent passing of your two brothers the following phrase jumped out at me and I found myself wishing to express to you something I have wanted to say to you for a longtime now. So here goes. The phrase was:
“The wisdom involved in death of loved ones has something to do with sizing up one’s own life and learning and re-learning that life is a one-time thing, a gift not to be squelched or underestimated or taken for granted. Give it all you’ve got.”
I think these words spoke to me because I, too, have reached the stage in my own life where death seems to be surfacing more often with the passing of loved ones and in frequently thinking about my own future passing. Although the thought of it still makes me somewhat uncomfortable I now can find peace as I have discovered that life is filled with goodness and not sin. By seeing things in this way I have been able to recognize the gifts within me and those which exist all around me and that has so enriched my life. So, if someone would ask me what gifts I believe I have been given one of the first things that would surface would be “I have been given the gift which exists in the wisdom of Creation Spirituality and in the heart of Rev. Matthew Fox. So, I am giving it all I got by thanking you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your wisdom, and, again, I express my condolences for the passing of your two brothers, Nat and Tom.
Thank you Matthew.
Dear Matthew ,
What a beautiful week of reflections on the lives of your brothers. There is so much meaning to digest in your offerings.
I reach out my hand of peace and comfort to you and their families.
I feel especially compelled to respond again to today’s reflections because I experienced this week how eternity truly lives on in the love we share with one another. Reading your meditations on your brothers and today listening to the two videos you shared, I knew and felt in my being that their lives are still Present through your love for them touching us . I shared your mediations today with many and I see now how your brother’s lives and love will be touching them. How awesome is that. I’ve been deeply touched like many others who read your work. The power of love and connection to this World is truly all we live for. May love transform us into a beloved community.
Peace, Comfort and much gratitude to you.
Thank you for your wisdom, Matthew. Letting go can be very difficult but is very freeing and is almost a gift of aging. And death of loved ones can make us even more appreciative of life in all of its forms, all of creation. As Proverbs has it, love is stronger than death.
Wisdom to me is keeping alive the Love, innocence, openness, wonder, freedom, spontaneity, and joy of the inner child within Our humanity moment by moment, and also growing in maturity, knowledge & truth, Spiritually with others with Our life experiences about the Living Spirit of DIVINE LOVE in Our Diverse Wholeness~ONENESS within, through, and among Us in the Sacred Evolving Process of the ETERNAL PRESENT MOMENT… with-in Our COSMIC CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS….