I came across this letter that I wrote 17 years ago. It seems relevant today still, especially because we have been meditating on a more healthy and more sacred understanding of masculinity. I have altered the time line to today’s time line. I also wrote a letter to my Sisters about recovering the healthy masculine and will share that down the line also.

“Am I doing this Man thing right?” Photo by Gregory Hayes on Unsplash.

Dear Brothers,

I have written a new book called The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors for Awakening the Sacred Masculine. I think it is an important book and a timely one. It was important to me to write it. I was 67 years old when I wrote it, and having been male all my life (surprise?), I felt I had something to say to my brothers and to the young men and boys who will soon be men.  

All About the Benjamins? Ultimately unsatisfying. Art by Alduck on Pixabay.


What I had to say is that our species is in trouble. And we men are a big part (not the only part) of that trouble. A renowned scientist at Stanford University told me two years ago: We are the first species in four-and-a-half billion years that can choose not to go extinct. But of course, we have not yet made that choice. It is that choice that moved me to write this book. As long as men are bogged down in superficialities—many of which our consumer-driven economic culture strives to addict us to—we will not be our real selves, our best selves, our most beautiful selves. We get into a locked squirrel cage of work, work, work and spend, spend, spend, and have no time for asking: Why am I here? What can I contribute? How do I give back my love and gratitude and wisdom?

In “Silver Linings Playbook” (2012), Robert De Niro portrays a man who struggles to relate to his grown son through any medium other than sports — but he’s trying! Video by Movieclips.

Just last week I was lecturing in Chattanooga, Tennessee on topics from this book, and a middle-aged man who was African American came up to me and said: You are right. I am far too addicted to television and sports on television. I am wasting my life away on the couch. I really want to get going and contribute. We are fools if we think we are on earth to watch an infinite number of games of other men (not us!) playing their hearts out to puts balls in a hoop, pitches in the strike zone, footballs over the goal line, or a golf ball in a hole. Sports has its place, both personal and vicarious. But ONLY a place. Not the space that our souls should be occupying and busy doing by communicating with the younger generation, so many of whom need relationships with elders and adults, male models NOT of how to watch sports on TV 24/7, but of how to live. How to love. How to relate. How to celebrate. How to learn. How to care. How to grow. How to survive and to thrive.

I talk of the hidden spirituality of men because I think most of us have a kind of inferiority complex when it comes to spirituality.  

To be continued. 


See Matthew Fox, The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.

See also Fox, The Tao of Thomas Aquinas: Fierce Wisdom for Hard Times

And Fox, Meister Eckhart: A Mystic-Warrior for Our Times.

And Fox, Christian Mystics: 365 Readings & Meditations.

And Fox, Original Blessing: A Primer on Creation Spirituality.

To read the transcription of Matthew Fox’s video meditation, click HERE.

Banner Image: A Hispanic father and son taking a break from a game. Photo by Sebastián León Prado on Unsplash.



Queries for Contemplation

Do you agree that many men husband a kind of “inferiority complex” when it comes to spirituality? And their own spirituality remains hidden from them?


Recommended Reading

The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine

To awaken what Fox calls “the sacred masculine,” he unearths ten metaphors, or archetypes, ranging from the Green Man, an ancient pagan symbol of our fundamental relationship with nature,  to the Spiritual Warrior….These timeless archetypes can inspire men to pursue their higher calling to connect to their deepest selves and to reinvent the world.
“Every man on this planet should read this book — not to mention every woman who wants to understand the struggles, often unconscious, that shape the men they know.” — Rabbi Michael Lerner, author of The Left Hand of God

The Tao of Thomas Aquinas: Fierce Wisdom for Hard Times

A stunning spiritual handbook drawn from the substantive teachings of Aquinas’ mystical/prophetic genius, offering a sublime roadmap for spirituality and action.
Foreword by Ilia Delio.
“What a wonderful book!  Only Matt Fox could bring to life the wisdom and brilliance of Aquinas with so much creativity. The Tao of Thomas Aquinas is a masterpiece.”
–Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit

Meister Eckhart: A Mystic-Warrior For Our Time

While Matthew Fox recognizes that Meister Eckhart has influenced thinkers throughout history, he also wants to introduce Eckhart to today’s activists addressing contemporary crises. Toward that end, Fox creates dialogues between Eckhart and Carl Jung, Thich Nhat Hanh, Rabbi Heschel, Black Elk, Karl Marx, Rumi, Adrienne Rich, Dorothee Soelle, David Korten, Anita Roddick, Lily Yeh, M.C. Richards, and many others.
“Matthew Fox is perhaps the greatest writer on Meister Eckhart that has ever existed. (He) has successfully bridged a gap between Eckhart as a shamanistic personality and Eckhart as a post-modern mentor to the Inter-faith movement, to reveal just how cosmic Eckhart really is, and how remarkably relevant to today’s religious crisis! ” — Steven Herrmann, Author of Spiritual Democracy: The Wisdom of Early American Visionaries for the Journey Forward

Christian Mystics: 365 Readings & Meditations

As Matthew Fox notes, when an aging Albert Einstein was asked if he had any regrets, he replied, “I wish I had read more of the mystics earlier in my life.” The 365 writings in Christian Mystics represent a wide-ranging sampling of these readings for modern-day seekers of all faiths — or no faith. The visionaries quoted range from Julian of Norwich to Martin Luther King, Jr., from Thomas Merton to Dorothee Soelle and Thomas Berry.
“Our world is in crisis, and we need road maps that can ground us in wisdom, inspire us to action, and help us gather our talents in service of compassion and justice. This revolutionary book does just that. Matthew Fox takes some of the most profound spiritual teachings of the West and translates them into practical daily mediations. Study and practice these teachings. Take what’s in this book and teach it to the youth because the new generation cannot afford to suffer the spirit and ethical illiteracy of the past.” — Adam Bucko, spiritual activist and co-founder of the Reciprocity Foundation for Homeless Youth.

Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality

Matthew Fox lays out a whole new direction for Christianity—a direction that is in fact very ancient and very grounded in Jewish thinking (the fact that Jesus was a Jew is often neglected by Christian theology): the Four Paths of Creation Spirituality, the Vias Positiva, Negativa, Creativa and Transformativa in an extended and deeply developed way.
Original Blessing makes available to the Christian world and to the human community a radical cure for all dark and derogatory views of the natural world wherever these may have originated.” –Thomas Berry, author, The Dream of the Earth; The Great Work; co-author, The Universe Story


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2 thoughts on “The Hidden Spirituality of Men: A Word to my Brothers”

  1. Many men have an inferiority complex with being comfortable in their own skin, in and of their ‘of the world’ being with its societal pressures, roles and responsibilities. That becomes the focus and major source of their attention and anxiety. ‘How are we measuring up? Or are we at all? Or should we place blame on another or another group, finger point and take our anger out on them. And ‘them’ could be close family members or another race, culture or political beliefs.
    So now we ask that men be comfortable in their ‘not of the world’ spiritual skin. That is a tall order, given the western culture is one of consumerism, a success ladder ie be educated, get a good job and be continuously promoted, have a big car, big house, a family and all ‘the toys’ and bling as continuously promoted by the media and influencers.
    So how do we get one’s attention to go from the ‘of the world’ mentality to ‘not of the world’ spirituality. Well it is the problems, the failures, not measuring up, the trials, tribulations, some addictions, that start waking people up to a better way, a saving grace, a healing balm. This is the tipping point and men need to be welcomed to ‘the better way’ lest they join a mob, a cult, a far worse predicament that we are now seeing grow around us. – BB.

  2. Yes! Yes! Spirituality also remains hidden from men because of the long history of patriarchy with its egocentricity/duality in human civilizations that has caused ignorance, misogyny, toxic unbalanced spirituality… towards the Feminine Loving Spirit/spiritual values within themselves and women with its consequent destructive effects on societies and institutions with all its wars, suffering, and social injustices up to the present day. Our LOVING~TRUTH~PEACE~JUSTICE~HEALING~FORGIVING~TRANSFORMING~CREATIVE~
    DIVERSE ONENESS… SPIRIT of Our MOTHER~FATHER SOURCE CREATOR IS PRESENT with-in All of Us in Our Ongoing Evolutionary CONSCIOUS CREATION as Part of Our LOVING DIVINE EVOLVING COSMOS in the Sacred Process of the ETERNAL PRESENT MOMENT….

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