My brain is buzzing with ideas about what it means right now to be a man. No doubt, the buzzing is due to the wealth of input that Matthew has given us in his recent DMs on this topic, but also by the very fact that dealing with masculinities means to get one step deeper into the diagnosis of our present plight.
Thomas Moore says — as Matthew just reminded us — that “monster boys” are running the world. This has never been so visible as it is now. In fact, I don’t know anybody who is not aware of the “toddler problem” except those who pretend not to know, perhaps because they work for the toddler. The “male toddler archetype” gets embodied in different ways, although it always includes basic narcissism and tantrums, and often the refrain “I am the victim!”
The big question, of course, is why so-called developed societies invest with power today certain males who have reached at most the mental development of three-year olds. And this, in turn, calls into question what is “development?”
As for my own development as a thinker and a human being, the work of Adrienne Rich and many other feminists has been essential. My Ph.D. dissertation was in feminist theology, a fact which makes of me objectively a rarity as a man. Yet I am still dealing, at the age of 59, with issues related to my father. And recently, I realized that my own mental system re-runs the “male toddler archetype” from time to time, as a default mode.
This realization, together with my studies, helps me get a deeper grasp of the question of questions of our time, which is not — to my mind — “Why is there so much violence right now in the world?” but “Why have we not been able to curb the amount of violence through culture and education?”
Perhaps because we have become aware only recently that the root of the problem is unhealthy masculinity. Those who try to educate the public about gender issues are still facing hypocritical rejoinders such as “You are attacking masculinity” even though they are criticizing unhealthy masculinity, not masculinity as such. Movements such as “Me Too” are misunderstood, but also mishandled or trivialized.
In Italy, where I live, there is an ever-increasing reporting of deadly violence against women by their partners (“femminicidi”), with the age of victims and perpetrators lowering all the time. Last week, a young teenager was smashed by her ex-boyfriend with a rock, simply because she refused to continue the relationship. The rock added poignancy to the horror, as many of us thought
about the stoning of “unfaithful” women throughout patriarchal cultures.
The Italian government has issued decrees (by way of emergency) which increase penalties for such crimes, yet the same government is also making it impossible to teach sex education in schools. Are they schizophrenic? Not particularly, just like any other fascist government.
For all the terrible aspects of the time we are living in, there is , I believe, one silver lining. At last, through the big ugly show that the male toddler-in-chief is giving to the world every day, and the recent fight with his peer toddler, the root issue is now clear to everybody who can see. It is the issue of toxic masculinity.
See Matthew Fox, The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.
Also Fox, The Return of Father Sky: A Cosmic Mystery for Kids of All Ages
Also Fox, Trump and the MAGA Movement as Anti-Christ: A Handbook for the 2024 Election
And Fox, Sins of the Spirit, Blessings of the Flesh: Transforming Evil in Soul and Society
And Fox, The A.W.E. Project: Reinventing Education, Reinventing the Human
And Adam Bucko and Matthew Fox, Occupy Spirituality: A Radical Vision for a New Generation
Banner image: “Trump Toddler.” Artist is SeiLeise. Posted by Julia Tulke. Flickr.
Queries for Contemplation
How is my gender affecting my spirituality in the world? If I identify as a
man, what issues do I still need to tackle with regard to such identification?
Related Readings by Matthew Fox
The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine
To awaken what Fox calls “the sacred masculine,” he unearths ten metaphors, or archetypes, ranging from the Green Man, an ancient pagan symbol of our fundamental relationship with nature, to the Spiritual Warrior….These timeless archetypes can inspire men to pursue their higher calling to connect to their deepest selves and to reinvent the world.
“Every man on this planet should read this book — not to mention every woman who wants to understand the struggles, often unconscious, that shape the men they know.” — Rabbi Michael Lerner, author of The Left Hand of God
The Return of Father Sky: A Cosmic Mystery for Kids of All Ages
The second book in the Father Fox’s Fantastical Fables series, The Return of Father Sky helps boys and girls to celebrate a new relationship with the masculine by way of Father Sky, whose return excites joy and wonder and possibility that enlarge the soul to welcome others and all creation. Written in a rhyming Dr. Seuss-like style, this full-color, beautifully illustrated book, written by world- renowned theologian Matthew Fox weaves together modern science and classic spirituality in a whimsical, entertaining format to illustrate important truths to readers aged 4 and up. With artwork curated from illustrators around the world, this book expresses the joy and wonder of all peoples and cultures, planting seeds of respect, cooperation and hope to work together for the healing of our planet.
Trump & The MAGA Movement as Anti-Christ: A Handbook for the 2024 Election
Matthew Fox tells us that he had always shied away from using the term “Anti-Christ” because it was so often used to spread control and fear. However, given today’s rise of authoritarianism and forces of democracide, ecocide, and christofascism, he turns the tables in this book employing the archetype for the cause of justice, democracy, and a renewed Earth and humanity.
From the Foreword: If there was ever a time, a moment, for examining the archetype of the Antichrist, it is now…Read this book with an open mind. Good and evil are real forces in our world. ~~ Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit and Conversations with the Divine.
For immediate access to Trump & The MAGA Movement as Anti-Christ: A Handbook for the 2024 Election, order the e-book with 10 full-color prints from Amazon HERE.
To get a print-on-demand paperback copy with black & white images, order from Amazon HERE or IUniverse HERE.
To receive a limited-edition, full-color paperback copy, order from MatthewFox.org HERE.
Order the audiobook HERE for immediate download.
Sins of the Spirit, Blessings of the Flesh: Transforming Evil in Soul and Society
Visionary theologian and best-selling author Matthew Fox offers a new theology of evil that fundamentally changes the traditional perception of good and evil and points the way to a more enlightened treatment of ourselves, one another, and all of nature. In comparing the Eastern tradition of the 7 chakras to the Western tradition of the 7 capital sins, Fox allows us to think creatively about our capacity for personal and institutional evil and what we can do about them.
“A scholarly masterpiece embodying a better vision and depth of perception far beyond the grasp of any one single science. A breath-taking analysis.” — Diarmuid O’Murchu, author of Quantum Theology: Spiritual Implications of the New Physics
The A.W.E. Project: Reinventing Education, Reinventing the Human
The A.W.E. Project reminds us that awe is the appropriate response to the unfathomable wonder that is creation… A.W.E. is also the acronym for Fox’s proposed style of learning – an approach to balance the three R’s. This approach to learning, eldering, and mentoring is intelligent enough to honor the teachings of the Ancestors, to nurture Wisdom in addition to imparting knowledge, and to Educate through Fox’s 10 C’s. The 10 C’s are the core of the A.W.E. philosophy and process of education, and include: compassion, contemplation, and creativity. The A.W.E. Project does for the vast subject of “learning” what Fox’s Reinvention of Work did for vocation and Original Blessing did for theology. Included in the book is a dvd of the 10 C’s put to 10 video raps created and performed by Professor Pitt.
“An awe-based vision of educational renewal.” — Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, Spirituality and Practice.
Occupy Spirituality: A Radical Vision for a New Generation
Authors Adam Bucko and Matthew Fox encourage us to use our talents in service of compassion and justice and to move beyond our broken systems–economic, political, educational, and religious–discovering a spirituality that not only helps us to get along, but also encourages us to reevaluate our traditions, transforming them and in the process building a more sacred and just world. Incorporating the words of young activist leaders culled from interviews and surveys, the book provides a framework that is deliberately interfaith and speaks to our profound yearning for a life with spiritual purpose and for a better world.
“Occupy Spirituality is a powerful, inspiring, and vital call to embodied awareness and enlightened actions.”
~~ Julia Butterfly Hill, environmental activist and author of The Legacy of Luna: The Story of a Tree, a Woman, and the Struggle to Save the Redwoods
7 thoughts on “The Male Toddler Archetype”
So sad to hear about the young woman stoned by her ex boyfriend, yes toxic masculinity, we must teach our children about this debilitating condition to our society, thank you for naming it.
Thank you for your post. I think that the “problem” rests in the root of identification as male, and a belief in the superiority of being male. The creation story adds to this falseness. “Eve” tempted Adam and she was the so-called cause of being dispelled from the garden. Yet, Adam ate the apple; he made the choice and perhaps his action was the “blame”. Men are not superior to women.
The stories told must change. They were in it together. She was smart enough to know the power of the apple, and he lured himself to go against God’s directives. Men are not superior. We must be deeply honest about our beliefs and the patterns we carry about our gender identitification.
God created us — deeply beautiful beings.
Yes, and… have you ever thought that the interpretation of the biblical story that you alluded to can be very different from the trite mainstream one? Maybe Adam is especially to blame because he tries to pile up on Eve all the reponsibility. Maybe that’s the real sin here.
In Ancient Times, the snake was a symbol of the Goddess and Her wisdom. Score another one for the Patriarchy!
!Thank you Gianluigi! The image of the stoning of the adulteress is iconic in that it represents a historical universal problem. I think back to the manual for torturing women accused of being witches: the Malleus Maleficarum [1846] and other historical and current cultural attacks on women. In his dark prophetic song THE FUTURE Canadian Leonard Cohen predicted that “you’ll see the woman hanging upside down, her features hidden by her fallen gown”, like the women in Iran, Afghanistan and elsewhere. The men generating this barbaric culture must have mothers, sisters, aunts but that doesn’t prevent them from using weapons to support and benefit from the misogynist culture. These are apocalyptic times: the four Horse-Men of the apocalypse are on the move. Thankfully we live in a time when there are powerful women in high places and enlightened men who support them as equals.
I note it is only women answering Gianluigi here! Why are men afraid tho look at this problem? An indigenous medicine man friend of mine says we are in a time of reckoning and transition to a new era where female energy, whether expressed by women or men, will be the dominant energy and that men are afraid of losing power to women.
My comment to yesterday’s DM still applies to today’s continued important theme of the root causes of the wounds and destructiveness of negative fathering/masculinity for all of us personally and historically by our ancestors and ongoing on our social institutions, including religions and the Christian church. In the opinion of many societal and spiritual scholars/thinkers, our long human and spiritual evolution has been negatively affected by our spiritually unbalanced patriarchy of not integrating this shadow and the Divine Feminine on Our inner spiritual journeys, including Our Beautiful essential Sacred Mother Earth which we have been increasingly destroying along with many living species, including endangering our own.
Many Indigenous societies in human history, which we have also destroyed due to the evils of this spiritually unbalanced patriarchy/masculinity, we are only recently realizing along with the
spiritual values, teachings, and ways of life of the mystics/prophets/saints/good people of genuine spiritual traditions, have had and continue to have much spiritual Wisdom to share with Us about Living with the PRESENCE of Our SOURCE~CO-CREATOR’S SPIRIT of DIVINE LOVE~WISDOM within and among Us on Our human spiritual evolution and LOVING ONENESS of Our evolving CO-CREATION~COSMOS in All its physical/nonphysical spiritual dimensions….