Vows (part I)

The comments I received after last’s week meditation on the Order of the Sacred Earth (see DM for Sept. 20) made me think deeply of the issue of making vows. Vows, of course, include commitments but they are fundamentally different, as it is indicated by the fact that I can be overcommitted, but not “over-vowed”.

Commitments are about things that we promise to do. One can have “a sacred commitment” but I would argue that, in such a case, one has stepped into the territory of a vow.

In the book The Order of the Sacred Earth, Skylar Wilson writes: The Order includes making a vow and discerning commitments to live by. Vow and commitments are here related as parent and children, in the sense that the latter descend from the first. Also one must be smart in choosing which commitments are the best for each situation, but they can be tried and changed as necessary, while the vow remains the ground for those commitments to flourish.*

We say that vows can be broken to signify how sacred and important vows are. However, countless people — at least in my generation and previous generations — have been broken by the notion that they have broken their vows, especially marriage vows.

Where does the need to punish oneself for such circumstances come from? From the moralization of the vow, that is, from treating one’s vow as a moral commitment — the other equally unuseful attitude is of course that of pretending that nothing happened.

If one does not fulfill a commitment, we can speak of a specific moral failure. But if we treat a vow in the same way, we are making a spiritual mistake. It’s bad enough to discover that one’s vow is unable to carry one through life! Living through the shattering of vows is like being orphaned! It’s not at all a matter of being right or wrong.

We need to understand that we don’t carry our vows, and we are not morally responsible for them. It is our vows that carry us, as long as they can. A vow is the expression of a deep hope, a cry of the heart. It’s an ideal, that is, it is a tender flower to which we ascribe the power to support us in life — if we make our part, of course.

Indeed, what is truly spiritual about a vow is that we utter it in response to a call from the divine depth of our hearts. We are not at fault if we utter it in complete sincerity but then time tells us that our vow was not truly a free vow (we were coerced externally or internally) or that it was not the right vow for us (but we had not enough clarity to see that).

Vows are not about devising the perfect route for one’s life. They are about responding to an inner call that has become irresistible. I— and countless others — have made the mistake of not always understanding this simple distinction.

A vow needs to be deep enough to support a series of moral commitments through life, and broad enough to accommodate different circumstances that may arise. Most especially, it must warm our heart and kindle our imagination. Each and every day.

We all make vows, especially in our youth, even though often in informal ways. When one commits to a life of empathy and reconciliation, rather than one of strife and enmity, one is making indeed a vow before God. Yet making formal vows, at any age, as an answer to the divine call, can be a very important tool of long-term resistance and character-building. It can give us a kind of strength that is unparalleled by any device of our minds. It is something objective in the spiritual realm, which the modern materialistic consciousness cannot understand.

To be continued.

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Matthew Fox , Skylar Wilson, and jJennifer Listug, Order of the Sacred Earth, page 90.

Banner image: “A Vow Under the Druid’s Oak” was painted in 1867 by Louis Dilbeek. It was also given other titles: “The Baptism by the Druid” or “Spring with Our Ancestors.” Wikimedia Commons. Public Domain.

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Queries for Contemplation

Did you make the experience of a broken vow? How has it been a spiritual experience for you?

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Related Readings by Matthew Fox

Order of the Sacred Earth: An Intergenerational Vision of Love and Action
By Matthew Fox, Skylar Wilson, and Jen Listug

In the midst of global fire, earthquake and flood – as species are going extinct every day and national and global economies totter – the planet doesn’t need another church or religion. What it needs is a new Order, grounded in the Wisdom traditions of both East and West, including science and indigenous. An Order of the Sacred Earth united in one sacred vow: “I promise to be the best lover and defender of the Earth that I can be.”
Co-authored by Matthew Fox, Skylar Wilson, and Jennifer Berit Listug, with a forward by David Korten, this collection of essays by 21 spiritual visionaries including Brian Swimme, Mirabai Starr, Theodore Richards, and Kristal Parks marks the founding of the diverse and inclusive Order of the Sacred Earth, a community now evolving around the world.
“The Order of the Sacred Earth not only calls us home to our true nature as Earth, but also offers us invaluable guidance and company on the way.”  ~~ Joanna Macy, environmental activist and author of Active Hope.

Prayer: A Radical Response to Life

How do prayer and mysticism relate to the struggle for social and ecological justice? Fox defines prayer as a radical response to life that includes our “Yes” to life (mysticism) and our “No” to forces that combat life (prophecy). How do we define adult prayer? And how—if at all—do prayer and mysticism relate to the struggle for social and ecological justice? One of Matthew Fox’s earliest books, originally published under the title On Becoming a Musical, Mystical Bear: Spirituality American Style, Prayer introduces a mystical/prophetic spirituality and a mature conception of how to pray. Called a “classic” when it first appeared, it lays out the difference between the creation spirituality tradition and the fall/redemption tradition that has so dominated Western theology since Augustine. A practical and theoretical book, it lays the groundwork for Fox’s later works. “One of the finest books I have read on contemporary spirituality.” – Rabbi Sholom A. Singer

One River, Many Wells: Wisdom Springing from Global Faiths

Matthew Fox calls on all the world traditions for their wisdom and their inspiration in a work that is far more than a list of theological position papers but a new way to pray—to meditate in a global spiritual context on the wisdom all our traditions share. Fox chooses 18 themes that are foundational to any spirituality and demonstrates how all the world spiritual traditions offer wisdom about each.“Reading One River, Many Wells is like entering the rich silence of a masterfully directed retreat. As you read this text, you reflect, you pray, you embrace Divinity. Truly no words can fully express my respect and awe for this magnificent contribution to contemporary spirituality.” –Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit

Creation Spirituality: Liberating Gifts for the Peoples of the Earth

Fox’s spirituality weds the healing and liberation found in North American Creation Spirituality and in South American Liberation Theology. Creation Spirituality challenges readers of every religious and political persuasion to unite in a new vision through which we learn to honor the earth and the people who inhabit it as the gift of a good and just Creator.
“A watershed theological work that offers a common ground for religious seekers and activists of all stripes.” — Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, Spirituality and Practice.
“I am reading Liberating Gifts for the People of the Earth by Matt Fox.  He is one that fills my heart and mind for new life in spite of so much that is violent in our world.” ~ Sister Dorothy Stang.