What am I learning from my practice of spiritual accompaniment? First of all, that it is a spiritual practice in and of itself. Yes, it is a service, and it is (good) work. But it is more than that.
Listening to somebody’s deepest concerns, anxieties, and dreams is one of the holiest activities for a human being, something to be approached with reverence. If not with trepidation, surely with a “holy curiosity” as I was taught once by a wise mentor. Unless you are interested in discovering more about the intricacies of the life of the persons you are going to meet, refraining at the same time from all judgments and projections, don’t even get started on this priestly thing — he said.
The awareness of entering a sacred ground, before the starting of sessions, has become palpable. Also, it has grown within me the awareness that all the wisdom needed is already in the person who comes to the session. It might be impeded, however, by thoughts and energies that are distracting, and that is my job to keep at bay.
My motto before the start of a session is: “I know nothing, I am just showing up.” It is presence that matters indeed.
Something quite similar happens when I lead a seminar. It is clear to me that my job is creating safe, quiet, deep space. Being present.
Some in my staff say that I am “no guru” — echoing the motto No Logo by Naomi Klein. I guess they mean that spiritual leaders, more aptly named gurus, try to impart truths to their adepts. Contrary to such an attitude, I have no interest whatsoever in making anyone believe anything different from what their inner teacher declares to them to be true.
In its original meaning, however, the word “guru” means something else. Your guru represents for you the divine in a mirror-like sense, until you are able to perceive the divine in yourself and you become your own guru. Not a bad thing at all.
But here cultural contexts carry the utmost importance. It would be very unsettling for me to represent the divine to somebody in such a direct and almost non-symbolic way — which instead I don’t mind interpreting symbolically in ritual — and likewise I can’t imagine choosing somebody to represent the divine for me in such a direct, unfiltered way.
Quite perceptively, James Reho — who works at the intersection of Tantra and Christianity — maintains that for Christians the guru is Jesus. Or perhaps the issue is mainly the modern Western mind, which claims independence and authenticity, while in premodern times it would be common for a young person to decide to place oneself under the authority of an abbot or an abbess. In any case, the question of what it means to be guided or guide others into the mysteries of self and God remains.
My fundamental theme is, once again, wholeness/integration and how to reach it. In my life, the help of spiritual guides, Jungian analysts, and mentors has been very relevant. For other people, it is less so.
Matthew Fox talks about becoming the midwife of midwives — it was the topic of his homily at my ordination as an Episcopal priest. Be aware that all you can do for others is help them give birth to their truer self, but in such a way that they also become conscious of their call to midwifery.
The image that pops up in my head is that of a beautiful chain of events and people, a string of gems or living stars. Over against the chain of massacres and tragedies that history keeps revealing itself to be, this seems to be the only antidote, the only salvation.
To this wonderful counsel by Matthew, I added more recently the conviction that in order to help people birth themselves — or be reborn through God, which is the same thing — we need to look together at their original trauma(s), invariably the cause of blocks to the flowing of life. “Together” is the operative word here. No longer alone in confronting one’s demons, one may flourish at unexpected rates.
NOTE: You may contact Gianluigi to request a free 30-minutes exploratory session of Spiritual Counseling by writing directly to gianluigi@misticaevolutiva.it
Banner Image: A pastoral counselor and client in session. Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
Queries for Contemplation
What is spiritual leadership today in your experience? Does it include any spiritual counseling, or any guru-like energy?
Related Readings by Matthew Fox
The Reinvention of Work: A New Vision of Livelihood For Our Time
Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality
Natural Grace: Dialogues on creation, darkness, and the soul in spirituality and science
A Spirituality Named Compassion: Uniting Mystical Awareness with Social Justice
The Tao of Thomas Aquinas: Fierce Wisdom for Hard Times
The Beloved Will Guide You: St. John of the Cross and the Triple Dark Night of Our Times
Julian of Norwich: Wisdom in a Time of Pandemic–and Beyond
A Way to God: Thomas Merton’s Creation Spirituality Journey
3 thoughts on “Counseling as a Spiritual Practice”
Faith, trust, openness, discernment, and humility are important to me on my transformative spiritual journey, especially Openness to Being & Becoming the Divine Flow of LOVING Diverse ONENESS with Others, with Beautiful Sacred Mother Nature, and with All ongoing Co-Creation evolving Sacred Cosmos, including All spiritual physical/nonphysical dimensions/Beings, in the Sacred Process of the Eternal Present Moment…
To me, a human spiritual leader is someone who is ahead on the steep and narrow ascending path of the spiritual mountain, in every sense of the words “spiritual” and “ahead,” including, but not limited to, time-wise and humility-wise. When I tried to come up with one name that I would consider “First on the Rope,” I could not break a tie between Lǎozǐ (a.k.a. Lao-Tzu) and Meister Eckhart. These daily meditations are written by two spiritual leaders, and I also find spiritual leadership in many comments.
Since, as the old saying goes, “God sleeps in minerals, dreams in plants, stirs in animals, and awakens in humans,” the non-human world is replete with spiritual leaders, including mountains, trees, and my gentle feline guru whose name is neither Macavity, Mungojerrie, nor Griddlebone.
In my experience, spiritual leadership is felt before it is defined. I know it when someone helps me see through my own illusions and remember what I already am. Who I was before I became the name I was given and the roles that came with it. As you say, the wisdom we need is already within us.
A spiritual leader’s work is to return me to my own inner teacher. Mine doesn’t instruct. It asks me to trust my intuition, and when I do, the guidance I need arrives through books, nature, animals, and teachers like you and Matthew.
When life feels like an avalanche, I remember to reach for these branches. Each one steadies me and becomes a walking stick back home.
So yes, spiritual leadership can include counseling and even guru energy, as long as it works like the mirror you describe: reflecting my inner teacher back to me until I can see it for myself.