Having embarked on a psychological analysis of the current world scene, I can’t avoid saying something about Donald Trump. Many professional psychologists have asserted that his words and behaviors clearly and unmistakably show that he suffers from malignant NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
Besides confirming with a medical acronym what many of us knew already, psychologists may help us exploring the issue a bit further. Narcissism is deeply linked to shame. Obviously the current POTUS experiences no conscious shame, i.e. he exhibits constantly a shameless behavior, but that is precisely a clear indication that he hosts within his subconscious mind an enormous amount of shame.
Average people feel shame when they realize that they have behaved in ways that hurt or displeased others (thus one can also distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate shame). Emotions can escalate to feelings of guilt for repeated or intentional behaviors (again, appropriate or inappropriate “feeling bad”).
Shame and guilt are matters of human life which cannot be simply eliminated. In the case of persons suffering from NPD they are deeply repressed. If they came to light all of the sudden, being huge as they are in their case, they would destroy their minds at once.
Narcissists, however, not only push such feelings down as much as they can but — unfortunately for the rest of humanity — they also project them outwards in a desperate effort to free themselves from them.
Like a rolling ball of shame running amok and continually projecting blame, Trump has not only become a liability to America, but is responsible for an enormous amount of pain and suffering inside the USA and around the world. The question then is: why? Why has the currrent political/social system given so much power to a person who is so broken? Many people have been duped, but that does not explain the situation well enough.
There must be within US society a consistent group of narcissists who identify themselves with the behavior of their chief — they already behave like him in private, but they fantasize being him, i.e. being as destructive as he is without paying consequences.
There must also be a consistent group of masochists — for lack of a better term — who are so used to be mistreated by narcissists that they find a kind of perverse comfort in the nation being led by him rather than by someone who would make them think, with the risk of bringing up to consciousness their real feelings.
Donald Trump is sick, but a healthy society keeps power away from people like him.
Years ago, I was alerted by my friend Fr. Richard Rubin to the dynamics of shame and guilt: how they play within individuals and groups, and how Christianity could be understood as an attempt to “lift the shame” — meaning the inappropriate kind of shame — from people’s hearts.
Since then, I have been testing his hypothesis, often reflecting on New Testament expressions such as “shameful death on the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). Dying on a cross in Roman times was a shameful death, without a doubt, but I am now convinced that early Christians “appropriated” such shame, meaning that they made conscious the shame that they felt inside as slaves or lower class people.
And then they went further. By consciously placing “the crucified” as the foundation of their community (see 1 Corinthians 1), they not only proclaimed that the most humiliated are actually worthy but they also helped lifting the excessive shame from the shoulders of the newly converted, while the community was safely closed off to any narcissist who wandered in and attempted to project shame.
I know that this combination of social and psychological realities is fundamentally the opposite that the kind of Christianity that most people have known in their lives, especially but not exclusively in the USA. Personally, I think that learning from these 1st-century folks is worth a try.
See Matthew Fox, A New Reformation: Creation Spirituality and the Transformation of Christianity
And Fox, Sins of the Spirit, Blessings of the Flesh: Transforming Evil in Soul and Society
And Fox, Trump & The MAGA Movement as Anti-Christ
And Fox, Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality
And Fox, The Pope’s War: Why Ratzinger’s Secret Crusade Has Imperiled the Church and How It Can Be Saved
Banner Image: Kept awake by voices of shame and guilt: “Seein’ Things.” Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash.
Queries for Contemplation
Learn to spot the tricks that shame plays in yourself and others, and act accordingly.
Related Readings by Matthew Fox
A New Reformation: Creation Spirituality & The Transformation of Christianity
A modern-day theologian’s call for the radical transformation of Christianity that will allow us to move once again from the hollow trappings of organized religion to genuine spirituality. A New Reformation echoes the Reformation initiated by Martin Luther in 1517 and offers a new vision of Christianity that values the Earth, honors the feminine, and respects science and deep ecumenism.
“This is a deep and forceful book….With prophetic insight, Matthew Fox reveals what has corrupted religion in the West and the therapy for its healing.” ~Bruce Chilton, author of Rabbi Jesus: An Intimate Biography
Sins of the Spirit, Blessings of the Flesh: Transforming Evil in Soul and Society
Visionary theologian and best-selling author Matthew Fox offers a new theology of evil that fundamentally changes the traditional perception of good and evil and points the way to a more enlightened treatment of ourselves, one another, and all of nature. In comparing the Eastern tradition of the 7 chakras to the Western tradition of the 7 capital sins, Fox allows us to think creatively about our capacity for personal and institutional evil and what we can do about them.
“A scholarly masterpiece embodying a better vision and depth of perception far beyond the grasp of any one single science. A breath-taking analysis.” — Diarmuid O’Murchu, author of Quantum Theology: Spiritual Implications of the New Physics
Trump & The MAGA Movement as Anti-Christ: A Handbook for the 2024 Election
Matthew Fox tells us that he had always shied away from using the term “Anti-Christ” because it was so often used to spread control and fear. However, given today’s rise of authoritarianism and forces of democracide, ecocide, and christofascism, he turns the tables in this book employing the archetype for the cause of justice, democracy, and a renewed Earth and humanity.
From the Foreword: If there was ever a time, a moment, for examining the archetype of the Antichrist, it is now…Read this book with an open mind. Good and evil are real forces in our world. ~~ Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit and Conversations with the Divine.
For immediate access to Trump & The MAGA Movement as Anti-Christ: A Handbook for the 2024 Election, order the e-book with 10 full-color prints from Amazon HERE.
To get a print-on-demand paperback copy with black & white images, order from Amazon HERE or IUniverse HERE.
To receive a limited-edition, full-color paperback copy, order from MatthewFox.org HERE.
Order the audiobook HERE for immediate download.
Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality
Matthew Fox lays out a whole new direction for Christianity—a direction that is in fact very ancient and very grounded in Jewish thinking (the fact that Jesus was a Jew is often neglected by Christian theology): the Four Paths of Creation Spirituality, the Vias Positiva, Negativa, Creativa and Transformativa in an extended and deeply developed way.
“Original Blessing makes available to the Christian world and to the human community a radical cure for all dark and derogatory views of the natural world wherever these may have originated.” –Thomas Berry, author, The Dream of the Earth; The Great Work; co-author, The Universe Story
The Pope’s War: Why Ratzinger’s Secret Crusade Has Imperiled the Church and How It Can Be Saved
The Pope’s War offers a provocative look at three decades of corruption in the Catholic Church, focusing on Josef Ratzinger, Pope Benedict XVI. The final section in the book focuses on birthing a truly catholic Christianity.
“This book should be read by everybody, not only for its ferocious courage, but also for its vision for what needs to be saved from the destructive forces that threaten authentic Christianity.” ~ Andrew Harvey, author of The Hope.
“In the gripping The Pope’s War, Matthew Fox takes an unwavering look at the layers of corruption in the Catholic Church, holding moral truth against power.” — Jason Berry, author of Vows of Silence: The Abuse of Power in the Papacy of John Paul II
11 thoughts on “The Role of Shame”
“Shame” has the same Indo-European root as “shield.” Genesis 3:7 sums it up: “ . . . they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.”
The painful refusal or incapacity to face personal shortcomings (shame) calls for the shield of hidden behavior (e.g. lies, hypocrisy) or that of denial (shamelessness). “The denial of essential limitation renders love impossible, for denying limitation and therefore rejecting complementarity leads to demanding in ‘love’ only likeness—a demand that results either in narcissism or in the destructive attempt to impose likeness, and neither of these can be love. The pluralistic insight, the kind of tolerance that derives from the acceptance of essential limitation, on the other hand, finds difference enriching rather than threatening: it thus opens to the love that flourishes not despite difference, but because of it.” [Ernest Kurtz, Shame and guilt, Center City, Minn.: Hazelden, 1981, p. 51]
Yukio Mishima, whose tragic death may have been his ultimate shield, wrote these frightening lines: “Other people are all witnesses. If no other people exists, shame could never be born in the world. [..] Other people must all be destroyed. In order that I might truly face the sun, the world itself must be destroyed.” [The temple of the golden pavilion, New York, Berkley Pub. Corp, 1971, p. 30].
I’m not sure I agree with Yuriko Mishima. According to biblical legend, Adam and Eve were alone. There were no “other people” and yet they still felt shame. I have felt shame but not because of anyone else but rather because of conscience, thereby God.
I recalled the feeling in a poem I wrote many years ago:
“And what have I done with birth?
It gave itself to me and with it’s gesture
I have sourly melted into shame and guilt,
And aspirations to be great,
And all before the age of twenty-three.”
Thank you, Paul, but, respectfully, even in a symbolic setting, being two is not being alone…
True, though I still disagree with the sentiment. Besides, did Adam and Eve each feel shame because of each other or because of an instinctive sense of guilt with which we are each born? I believe the latter…
The main thing that is clear and agreed upon by mental health professionals, is that Trump has a NPD disorder that is very destructive to American and world society. Other dictators in past world history and present dictatorships have probably had variations of NPD. Narcissism in a way is characteristic of patriarchal societal values/conditioning that are egocentric, materialistic, selfish, greedy, racist, power over others, destructive, and basically separated from the Sacred Presence in personal/communal living within and with others, Sacred Mother Nature, and subtle physical/nonphysical spiritual realms/dimensions and beings within and among Us as parts of the SACRED DIVERSE LOVING ONENESS of Our evolving Humanity and Cosmos… COMPASSIONATE COSMIC CHRIST-BUDDHA CONSCIOUSNESS…. Many past and present Indigenous societies have probably come closest to living these sacred personal/communal values and Oneness with Sacred Mother Nature on Earth and in the Cosmos….
Paragraphs 1 thru 9 are an excellent expression of the connection between shame and narcissism. Then things take left turn. There is no doubt that, “early Christians appropriated” the shame of the cross, but this shame was a toxic projection issued from an imperial power structure, and this shame “uplifted” no one. Instead, this projection likely evoked feelings of total vulnerability, helplessness, fear of abandonment, and a complete inability to facilitate an effective response to the actions of a superior physical power. In short, the shame afforded no life affirming effect, similar to the Yahwist narrative in Genesis 3, where Eve in her longing to attain knowledge is brutally prohibited from engaging in any form of moral discourse with the creator or the created. Had Eve remained compliant, moral theology would have been forever lost to some of the worlds most profound commentators. Once Augustine comes on the scene this toxic shame becomes stamped in dogmatic code, and ‘I am not worthy’ becomes the hall mark of Christian identity. And yes, this was highly “inappropriate.”
Shame can evoke life giving effects, if I am willing to own those occasions when I have wounded others, take the opportunity to practice honest self-reflection and request forgiveness.
True, but surely the reaction of both Adam and Eve was something instinctive within them – an innocence that had been broken – rather than because each other was there.
Spot on GG! Read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. It’s a shame thunderstorm out there. Punitive justice and shame based controls are inferior and psychologically damaging strategies. Science has proven this, and a host of psychologists and contemplative types are joining up to put the word out. Traditional religions are in danger of becoming cults of shame addicts that are easily manipulated by power leaders (like Trump).
If we keep loving people and accepting them, but not their mania (or ours!), we can open the door together to a better world.
Good job with the clear explanation! Keep up the work. Eventually I think we’ll escape because love and science has always outlasted superstition, and it will again eventually.
In my opinion, shame is based on rejection of the whole self, while guilt is based on actual harmful actions. If we find ourselves falling into self hatred, we can be pretty sure it is as a result of irrational shame or guilt morphing into shame. Shame is an attack on our very being. The current president is so deeply damaged that I agree he would completely fall apart if he even peeked into self awareness, which is radical self hatred that he projects and spews everywhere and on everything. What I have also noticed in him and his closest associates is sadism, which is sexually based. Sexual gratification comes from causing pain to others. He clearly has sexual perversions, IMO, as allegedly does Vance–not even the couch stories but watching porn with his son? Or was that someone else. The hatred of women and wish to cause them pain is clear. So, yes, it is vital to keep watch on our own tendencies to be ashamed and find ways to heal as it is a spiritual as well as an emotional state. I tend to see some of the early martyrs a bit differently, not from a Roman Catholic point of view. I may be wrong, but some people intentionally sought out martyrdom to get to heaven, whereas Jesus died as a result of his teachings, that were counterculture both to the empire and the religious authorities. That sacrifice was meaningful not to just individuals but to the whole world.
True, but surely the reaction of both Adam and Eve was something instinctive within them – an innocence that had been broken – rather than because each other was there.
Meanwhile, how are you able to comment twice in a day when I am prevented from doing so?
In his groundbreaking book “Healing the Shame that Binds Us” John Bradshaw explores the profound impact of toxic shame on individuals and their relationships. He points out that guilt is feeling bad about something you did. With shame you believe there is something bad about you.